Raising Eli & Zachary + a little Princess

I have to be honest, I have never watched the show, but lately it is hard to not look at any online news source and see the bitter battle being fought between this man and woman which will eventually, if not already, damage their 8 kids.

Did I really say 8 kids? Who in their right mind has 8 kids. I don’t pretend to know the story, or really care, but I tell you what. There is a double edged sword associated with divorce and overall, in the cosmic sense of everything, seems to be a lose-lose situation.

Happiness

How long can someone pretend that a relationship is healthy when inside you know it is not and you are miserable? In the case of these two people, it is clear that they hate each other. What was once love, turned into co-existence and eventually lead one person to look at the situation and say, I no longer love this person, I really don’t even like them anymore. I think this leads to behavior changes which causes the dislike to become bitterness and disgust. Eventually, all you can do is yell at each other and shake your head and start living your life for yourself and the kids.

Don’t get me wrong, people can not be happy but be content in being married. These types of people stay together when they really would be happier apart. The problem is the children. I read a poll one time that said that parents who have kids are 75 times more like to stay in an unhappy marriage because they don’t want the children to suffer.

This double edge sword affects all parents. At what point do you say, “My happiness (or unhappiness) is directly affecting my children. When can the bitterness and disgust in the partner actually rub off on the child, and when would it be better to just walk away from the marriage knowing that if you are happy, eventually the children will be happier.

I remember when my father told me once that he wanted to divorce my mother. Now at the time, my dad was a real prick to my mom and I was the youngest kid (I was in college at the time). I told my dad that if was that unhappy that all he was doing was making her unhappy with his attitude and told him to shove off and find a life that he could enjoy. He never did, he always had some excuse and he didn’t realize what she truly meant to him until she passed on.

Back to the topic. Jon & Kate are getting divorced, which leaves 8 kids in limbo. Weekend visits, visitation rights, the court battle, spousal support, splitting of resources….all of these things are going to create such a sense of hatred between the parents that these kids will suffer long term problems. Why? Because this man, and this woman let fame and money get in the way of being nice to each other. They stopped supporting each other for the greed associated with the documentation of their life.

In twenty years, these two morons will wake up and realize what pathetic parents they are. For all the bullshit quotes about them wanting the best for their kids, and the kids come first they sure seem to be thinking about themselves as individuals first

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Eli @ 2.5 Years Old

The history of this blog is a long one. I have been blogging about being a dad to my son Eli for well over four years. Recently, the blog and four years worth of history was hacked and turned into a porn site. As a precaution, I had to delete all of the posts, comments, memories and, well everything.

I decided that I would not restore and start the blog back up because I was just too upset and mortified that someone would attack a site so innocent in content. Who in their right mind attacks a parenting site dedicated to making dads feel like they can have a successful relationship with their kids? I thought it was personally motivated, but in the end I felt that giving up would just be letting them win.

So working with my hosting company we enhanced the security and I am going to give it another try. I am working on importing the old posts, but even if that does not happen right away I will have plenty to talk about. Eli is now four years old, and Ziggy has been cooking in the wife’s belly for six months. At the end of September, I will be faced with being a good dad to multiple kids. A challenge of huge emotional and physical consequences. Wish me luck!

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