Raising Eli & Zachary

We now have only 24 days until Jodi’s due date and we have so many things to do. I think we are taking for granted all the great planning we did for Eli and skipping a lot of things that are important. I asked Jodi today, do we need to do anything with the hospital? Like pre-register? I remember with Eli we did that, and well we have not done it for Ziggy. We also had purchased everything in advance, and we have so many things we have not purchased yet like a new little bathtub, his bedding set, some of the cute pictures for the wall of his room, his lamp etc.

For all the experiences we gained when we had Eli, it seems that we are so completely disorganized for Ziggy. With Jodi already in her ninth month, she could go at any moment, so I hope we get our act together.

On a different note, Eli has mastered the ability to whine, and he is getting his way. This is horrible because once you cave into whining it will be harder than hell to break the cycle. Eli wants a cookie, and we say no because it is dinner time and he whines, out comes a f-ing cookie. We need to step up and teach him that whining is not going to work and show him some tough love.

On a more positive note, Eli is jumping into the pool now on his own, has been very nice to his cousins and his vocabulary is exploding. He has been watching Super Why and spelling everything and has show a renewed interest in reading. Now if we can only get him to stand and pee instead of sit and pee the world would be spinning on its axis a little smoother.

I can only imagine what life is going to be like in the next few weeks. Eli is going to be jealous and I will have to step up the game to an even higher level with him, unfortunately the timing is bad because he is in one of those phases where he just wants it his way and has no interest in playing with dad for than a few minutes at a time. I hate these stages.

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If you have been paying attention you know what a disaster it has been to get Eli’s mouth fixed. We have experienced everything from a bad Dentist (Shame on you Dr. Miller) to the wonderful Dr. Bennet in Smithtown. Yesterday, Eli underwent a successful root canal to his back upper molar, filled three minor surface cavities and sealed his teeth so it would help prevent further tooth decay. The entire process was a complete success and I can’t thank Dr. Bennet and his staff enough for the high level of care they provided Eli and my wife and I.

If you are ever in need of a great pediatric dentist than look no further than Dr. Bennet. He is wonderful, his staff is wonderful and they provide the most caring and informative dental care to children of all ages!

Dr. Marc Bennet
Adelberg Pediatric Dental Center

(2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

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I have a somber prediction from the Horowitz Meteorological center. Be warned Long Island, this year, we are going to get hit by a Hurricane. I predict one category 3 (Cat 4 weakened to 3 right before it hits).

I think the last time we were hit was by Gloria. To all those who have boats and houses, make sure your insurance covers hurricanes and start thinking about what you need to do when a storm hits.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

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There has been a lot of good news and bad news this week in the life of my family. Everything from my sister-in-law adopting a 1 year old dog from a rescue shelter to slamming and hurting my shoulder, neck and ribs playing hockey.

So let’s start with the dog. My sister-in-law and her family adopted a dog last week! It is a cute little dog, that they were told was a Cocker-Poo but looks more like a PVGB mix. The dog is cute, and will be a great family dog in time, but like all rescue dogs, it has its issues. Clearly the previous owner(s)[?] did not treat the dog well, and that causes issues that the new family has to deal with. Rescuing a dog is a hard thing to do, the first year of a dog’s life is the most critical. This dog “Magic” needs stern training, a lot of love, and most importantly a great deal of understanding by the family and patience. I know they can do it, and I am confident this dog will work for them, if they put out the effort. It will not be easy, but hell, you have to know that when you rescue a dog and not buy a puppy. I truly hope they don’t give up on the dog.

Switching to Hockey and my shoulder. I was racing for the puck to try to cut off a break out along the boards and I think I stepped on the opposing wingers stick, this sent me shoulder and neck first into the boards very hard. The game immediately stopped, I am not sure if the Referee thought I was dead or what but everyone came over to me. I was a bit stunned but got on my feet even though the ref was telling me that I broke my collar bone (which I didn’t). I played a few more shifts before I realized that I was really hurting and couldn’t hold the stick anymore and left the rink. The next morning, the doc took x-rays and said it was a contusion (thank god). A few days later now and I am still very sore and my shoulder is killing me. A few more days should be ok before I can lace them up again.

Eli and swimming, suddenly we can’t get him out of the pool. He is so proud of himself and it is really nice to see him want to be outdoors and playing so much. He actually accepts compliments and even compliments himself on his ability. What a difference a few weeks make! He is a different kid in the water now, and all Jodi and I can do is smile and give each other high fives! Yesterday, he swam with his cousins for HOURS and argued when we wanted leave the pool.

Other news, Jodi is T-6 weeks from giving birth to Ziggy. We are very excited and have a ton of mental and physical preparation to do. I love feeling Ziggy kick and I especially like when Eli hugs her belly and gives it kisses. He is going to be an awesome big brother.

That is all for now…it is 8am and the family is still asleep. I am thinking about my sister-in-law and her family, I know they had a rough night with the new dog and I can only hope they put their emotions in check and put the dog in perspective. It is a rescue in need of love and patience. I hope they do the right thing. No dog is easy work, especially at the beginning. It takes commitment, time, patience, money and love to make a rescue dog feel like a champion. I hope they do the right thing for the dog, and I hope that the dog is the right thing for them.

Update: Turns out the dog when totally nuts last night, attacked my brother-in-law. They can’t afford the dog attacking the kids, and I can’t blame them. They are going to return the dog and look for a puppy. I know rescue dogs can be hard, and my sister-in-law and her family are just not in the position to do what is necessary to rescue this dog, that is nothing against them, because they do want what is best for the dog, but this dog really needs some special help, and with kids in the house, there is no room for taking chances.

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Eli completed another swimming lesson today and it appeared to be a breakthrough lesson! He loved swimming on his own and started wearing goggles!

It is extremely important to Jodi and I that Eli be comfortable around water and self sufficient. Accidental drownings should be a thing no parent has to worry about or face. Although very costly, swimming should be on every parents agenda!

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It is hard to believe that Eli was diagnosed with PDD NOS almost two years ago. If you are a parent, and you are worried about the development of your child (socially or physically) you should listen to what I have to say. It is easy to reject such a notion, and deny it could be happening to your child, because everyone believes and is is blinded to the fact that their child could be “different”, but as soon as you accept it, the sooner you can correct it. When I say correct it, I mean it. Eli, since receiving therapy for his issues, is a completely different child now, and I can’t say enough to the therapist who worked with him. They have been a miracle.

Yesterday I had the luxury of taking Eli to his new school orientation. It is a school mixed with “on the spectrum children” and “non-spectrum children”. I used to use the words “normal” and “abnormal” but I soon realized that all children are normal, even if they are autistic or have the milder diagnosis of PDD NOS. Eli is a wonderful little boy, polite, smarter than 90% of the kids around him, has a true photographic memory, but he had his social issues, stimming to help him in awkward situations and some OT issues like holding a crayon the correct way and using a spoon and fork. His development used to be about six months slower than his peers in these trouble areas, and now, he is so far more advanced than his peers in the same areas for his age group. He competes, and wins in all areas against people his own age and older. That my friends, is amazing. If you put Eli up in a lineup of 10 kids, all around his age, he would shine above them. The difference is amazing.

Yet he still has his issues, like many sensory things like splashing in water that he is uncomfortable, riding bikes, trying some “scary” things that other kids would just rush into. For example, he still won’t ride his bike, because he is scared. He still would rather play inside than outside, although yesterday all he wanted to do is be outside in the hot humid air. Go figure!

The best part is my change in attitude, I used to be embarrased and shamed that my son was PDD NOS as if it was a brand of retardation or autism. I rejected the diagnosis and even though I did the right thing by getting him help, I always wondered if he would have just outgrown it. Now I embrace it, and I use it towards his advantage. He gets the help he needs, and we see the reward of him being a fully capable young lad. When I tell people he is PDD NOS they are shocked, and then I am proud that I did the right thing, and even happier that I was able to swallow my pride and get him help.

Eli is amazing, not because he is PDD NOS, but because he has the wonderful personality every parent dreams about. He is kind to others, socially capable, physically on top of his game and smarter than a whip. He is compassionate towards others and a good friend. As a parent, I could not be more proud of his achievements and we all look forward to him being a great big brother in six weeks.

If you child is showings any signs of autism, even gentle signs that you think he/she will grow out of, then get him/her evaluated. It is free. If they need help, the help is free, and trust me when I say the therapy works and will make a difference in the long term success of your child. TRUST ME, ignoring the issue until they are in Kindergarten is the worst thing you can do, it is hard to fix problems in that setting. Early intervention is the key to success.

If you need help, or have questions. Feel free to reach out to my wife and I. We would be happy to talk to you about it. I can be reached at bernardhny@gmail.com and will be happy to send you my phone number so we can chat.

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