Jun
30
How do you say goodbye?
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I know a woman, she is the perfect woman. She is everything a man could ever desire. She is elegant, energetic, humorous, sarcastic, a bit naughty (ok, I am not sure she is naughty…but I can dream). She carries herself in a way that makes all women around here pale in comparison. She is pure light, the kind that warms you on a sunny day, recharging you. She is that moment of peace and sanity that makes the worst day just seem better.
You would think that I was probably in love with her, which is not far from the truth. I always told my wife that if there was ever a second person who I could look to other than her, it would be Ingrid. Of course, my wife always thought it was someone else, but secretly, part of me always desired her on so many levels. Of course I never acted on any of this, never would. She is a Monet left to be desired from a far. Too pricey for me, too elegant, too refined. Too perfect.
And now she approaches her death. With dignity and courage she is dying, leaving us behind with little understanding of why she should be punished so early in life. How is it that a woman of such beauty and fire can be cursed with inoperable brain tumors. How many attempts at chemotherapy and radiation can someone face without success. Years of fighting, years of struggling, with nothing but failure. The only saving grace is the time she gained. For all we know, the outcome that approaches her could have taken her away years ago. I hope that her family is better prepared, took the time to make her know she was loved.
So I sit here at my computer and I am not sure to be happy or cry. Ingrid got the love of a good man, and two great kids. She got to see areas of the world that most will never see. She was a teacher of youth, guiding and touching them so that they would go into their future prepared, loved and cherished and she had friends who are better people for knowing her.
Life is a hard thing and Ingrid still faces her toughest challenge. She is now confined mostly to her bed, with only a whisper of a voice left. Yet she smiles through her eyes, and she knows we all love her. She holds our hands comforting us, when we should be comforting her. She is tired, and rightfully so. Oh how I wish I could put my hands to her head and kiss her. Take the pain, take the disease and give her life back.. She is just one person on this Earth that does not deserve this fate.
I could lash out at GOD, and I probably still will. Yell and scream in pain that she didn’t deserve this fate. I will glare into the sky and tears of rage will stream from my eyes but somehow, for some reason I know with a sense of certainty that all will be well. For some unexplained reason, right now, as I type this, I almost feel as if GOD is putting his hand on my shoulder telling me all will be ok. That this family will be fine, that Ingrid will be in a better place, and that her kids will grow up to be successful. I am sure of it, as sure as I am of the love of my son.
So as the day comes to say goodbye, I hope I am as brave as she is. I hope I have the courage she is showing now. I hope I can approach her husband and say I am sorry and have him understand that my family is his family, and together, we can all get through this.
Sweet Dreams Ingrid. May God protect and deliver you when the time is right. May you enjoy all of the blessings of GOD in Heaven….and GOD, if it is not too much to ask. Please show your mercy and if no miracle cure can be given to her in these last weeks. May she go without pain. May she go with a smile on her lips, and may her family know she is at peace.
Jun
29
Diapering is like baseball
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Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher’s mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.
Fathers Day
Quote by: Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
Jun
22
Another Hard Trip Away
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Yesterday was difficult. I am away on a training trip for my PMP certification and Jodi is away for a two day soccer tournament. That leaves Eli with Grandma and Grandpa for two days. I have complete confidence in their ability and love for him so it should be easy for me to be away, especially knowing that Jodi is going to be home in two days.
Of course as a dad I want to call Eli a few times a day and say hello, especially at night and before bed. But last night when I called to speak to him he started to cry.He kept saying that he wanted his mommy and was as sad as could be. According to grandma he had been fine and happy until hearing my voice. In part, it makes me happy that he misses me and loves me but I am sad that he was so negatively affected by my call and absence. Now part of me wonders if calling is such a good idea.
I hate being away. I have 7 days of this before I get to go home and give him a hug. It is going to be a hard week full of mind numbing knowledge transfer, long days and night and little sleep. Add the fact that my mind will be on Eli and I am sure I will get half of what I need out of this class and trip.
Jun
19
Wrapped around his finger
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Eli has us so wrapped around his little finger that it is sick and wrong. Anyone who comes to this blog understands that the latest challenge for us has been potty training. We have improved but we are far from successful implementation of the potty plan.
As a recap:
Eli does not want to sit on the potty with his clothes on (conquered)
Eli does not want to sit on the potty naked (conquered)
Eli does not want to release anything INTO the potty (Current Battle)
In hopes of winning this war we have delved into the depths of insanity and started bribing, and withholding new toys, candy, ice cream and anything else Eli holds dear to him to use as encouragement. The latest has been with musical instruments. Eli LOVES music and has always wanted a triangle to add to his musical collection of drums, maracas, cymbals, clappers, whistles and trumpets. We have been searching for a triangle and have not found one, until a few days ago that is. So the new triangle sits on the sofa in the package and Eli gets to look at it, but until today, does not get to play with it until he goes Pee Pee or Poo Poo in the potty. Eli understands this and has voluntarily started sitting on the potty and continually asks for the triangle.
Now, this is where it gets hard. Eli sits on the potty, you see him TRYING to go pee and well, there is nothing there. He had already gone in his diaper earlier. This is where the real battle is, he won’t tell us he needs to go potty, so when we do get him on the potty it is too late or he holds his pee and poo in until he gets the diaper on and then relieves himself. The process is enough for any grown man to break down and cry.
So today we decided on a new torture tactic. We let him hold and play the triangle when sitting on the potty, but when he gets off the potty unsuccessfully, we take the triangle and put it in the box. This causes Eli to flop to the ground like a sack of potatoes and cry. He wants to bring the Triangle to school but it is not going to happen.
Of course all of this eats us alive. Eli is being so melodramatic but as a parent I just think it is a wrong tactic, but we are desperate. I am gone this weekend, but the following weekend is when we convert Eli to underwear instead of diapers. Then he will have to make the transition. Wish us luck as we torture our child into potty success.
Jun
15
Moments to Cry About
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I often wonder what Eli dreams about when he is asleep. For a few minutes I sat staring at his eyelids while napping today and I knew he was dreaming. I wonder, if he is dreaming of animals, of his mommy or me. Is he running across the light tan sand next to the blue waters of a beach he has never been to or better yet, flying an airplane zooming through the clouds.
He is three, and with that only comes three years of experience to mix in with his wild imagination. Is it too silly to think that he is dreaming of his favorite gal from school or something more innocent like flying a kite. I wonder.
I wonder about a lot of things I guess, wonder if he will ever use the potty, or if he will be brilliant in school. I wonder how to keep him away from drugs and alcohol and how I am going to afford college for him. I think about all the punishments and rewards I will have to give him, warranted or not. Of all the things I can encourage him to do, and discourage him from attempting.
It is a complicated thing, this life we live. Full of amazing experiences, hardships, and countless rewards. I wonder if I will live long enough to see Eli achieve all the things I wish for him. I wonder if he will know, that in the event of my premature death, that I loved him more than anything in the world. That I am so very proud of him and that I will always be watching and wishing the best for him. I wonder if he knows. I wonder if he understands.
Life is such a hard thing to live, and even harder to live well. I hope he lives his life the best possible way, taking no shortcuts and working hard to achieve everything he is dreaming about. It is all about him putting in the effort and working hard for the rewards. I hope he understands this eventually, before he is old like his father.
Jun
9
Potty Training Bribery
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Jodi and I finally think we have what it takes to bribe Eli into using the potty. Get this, Eli loves Chocolate doughnuts! Let’s put this into perspective, at first attempt in bribing my wonderful son to sit on the potty (with his clothes on) resulted in a volley of shouting NO NO NO from Eli. Then mommy had a brilliant idea, she screamed out that she was sitting on the potty and wanted a doughnut. Her reasoning was simple, whatever cool treat she gets, Eli is definitely going to want one too.
So I ran into the kitchen, got a single chocolate doughnut out and Eli yelled, I want one. I told him no, not unless he sits on the potty. He cried, whined and moaned so I brought the prize to Jodi and she ate it. Eli immediate went to the new potty and sat down. I in turn ran to the kitchen, got him a chocolate doughnut and gave it to him! He was extremely happy.
Within the hour he had sat on the potty a few times, each time getting a doughnut, but I am not that easy. I told him from now on to get a doughnut from us he would have to sit on the potty without his diaper on. Eli at first refused by the temptation of chocolate won the day. Eli sat on the potty for a few minutes completely naked. He did not use the potty but a start is a start is a start.
Thank god for doughnuts, it might be our saving grace! Oh by the way, I got a great picture of the event, too embarrassed to show it on the blog but in 20 years when he is getting married, it might just be the picture all the guests sign 
Evil Dad 1, Stubborn Son 0
Jun
6
Kawasaki Electric ATV
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Oh boy….my dad sent Eli a whopper of a gift. A Fisher Price Kawasaki ATV Ride on toy. At first thought when my old man said he was getting this I thought, “Hell yes!” and now that I spent 120 minutes putting it together I am wonder, “What the hell was I thinking!”
It is large, powerful and looks like a ton of fun, but for a three year old? Then I had a flashback to his trip to Arizona a few months ago when he rode around in a jeep motorized vehicle and loved it. Matter of fact, you couldn’t get him off the thing.
Tonight will be the test. When I get home from work I will take the battery (which takes 18 hours to charge for the first time) and install it. Then give Eli a chance to drive it in the backyard. Of course, I will have to load him up on body armor, helmet and pray.
I really hope he likes it. My dad spent a lot of money on the unit, a spare battery and a second charger. When it comes to Eli trying new things, he has been a wimp lately and scared of everything. Not sure how to get him over it, must just be the age and a stage but it would nice for him to take to this toy like a duck takes to water.
Jun
4
Quick Review
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It has been a wild week and I have been way to busy to post so here is a quick review of what has been happening.
Eli turned 3. He had a fantastic party. The facility was amazing and the staff was wonderful. Imagine dozens of giant sized wood play sets like boats and castles and add some numerous bi and tri level wood kingdoms and that is just the start of the fun the kids had. We ended up with 17 kids running around having a blast and the hour and a half went by really fast.
Eli received a ton of really cool gifts including pirate ships, Doodle pads, moon sand, clothes and a Fisher Price Kawasaki ATV (battery powered). Topping that off Eli went to two other birthday parties on Saturday, one was at McDonalds and another at an indoor swimming center.
The pool party was amazing. Eli actually went into the water which is a miracle considering last years failed attempts. It is funny how Eli was a swimmer from 6m to a year and a half and then refused to go near a pool his entire second year. He went right in, but clung to me the entire time. It is a start in the right direction.
Maggie the new dog is doing well, she is gaining weight and growing bigger each day. She is a mush and is doing the constant mouthing that everyone hates during the puppy stage. She is a good dog and Eli is warming up to her.
I am STILL SICK! With a chest cold and sinus infection that is going to be my death.
More to follow…including pictures
May
30
Crazy Birthday Weekend
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I am on my last bit of energy before I collapse. I have been sick now for a few weeks with no end in sight and this weekend I will get no rest. The schedule:
Saturday: 11am Eli’s classmates birthday party at McDonalds
Saturday: 3pm Eli’s classmates birthday party at a swimming center
Sunday : 10am Eli’s Birthday party with his friends
Sunday: 1pm Work with Tokyo, Shanghai, Taiwan, Munich, Karlsruhe and Sweden @ work
Sunday: 3pm Family and friends come back to the house for more party
Sunday: 6pm Motorcycle Club Meeting
Meanwhile, walk the dog, feed the dog, walk the dog, watch the dog, clean up after the dog
Anyone see any sleep time in there?
I need a day off.
May
30
Happy Birthday Eli !!!
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What a historic day for Eli, he is 3 today! It has been an amazing journey of growth for all of us. As new parents 3 years ago we had a lot of ideas on what our future would hold and even more ideas on what kind of parents we would become.
What is amazing looking back over the last three years is how much we didn’t know and how ill prepared for parenthood we were. We came up to speed quickly and managed a lot of fear and anxiety. If you’re a parent you probably understand what I am talking about, if you’re not a parent yet, don’t worry. It is as natural as breathing. Everything just changes when you become a parent. Your just have this natural instinct on what is right and wrong.
Three years. Looking back, I was a different person. Now, I am a better person, more focused, more patient and more capable. Eli has done that for me. So I thank him, because on his birthday, he has given me the best gift of all.
Happy Birthday my wonderful, bright, energetic, funny, sarcastic little boy. Each day you give more reasons to be happy and content with life. You are my greatest gift, my greatest love and my greatest achievement.
